Stop Thinking About Speaking As A Performance
here's what to do instead ...
“I need to be more concise”
“I need to get through the fluff and to my point, faster”
“I say ‘um’ and ‘ahh’ too much”
These are the kind of answers I receive when I ask, ‘when it comes to speaking up, what’s your biggest challenge, frustration or concern?’
And if we were to just work on these things, with tightening up sentences, and suppressing our thinking style and training ourselves out of filler words, then, on the surface, we might argue we’re speaking ‘better’.
The problem is … focussing on ‘those’ parts of speaking is essentially focusing on the ‘performance’ part.
Not the substance.
It occurred to me this week, as I was recording new videos for my 7-day Speaking with Impact series, that the work I really do is focussing on the substance. The foundations that sit underneath the visible elements, that make for impactful communications.
It’s like an iceberg (I know, how unimaginative).
The tip of the iceberg that is visible above the ocean is the performative parts.
Cadence, charisma, metaphors and stories, body languge and tone.
And without the substance that sits below the surface, well, to stretch the analogy thin, those language and performance devices float away into nothing oh so easily.
So what’s the substance that underpins truly impactful communication?
I’ve distilled it to 3 key elements:
Clarity | Conviction | Confidence
Clarity of message, communicated so the audience understands.
Conviction in the importance and value of the message.
Confidence to deliver and engage with the message, and with different perspectives. AND confidence that one’s identity is not tied to the message.
When these three elements sit ‘beneath’ the surface of the spoken word, the conversation, the presentation, the pitch, the performative elements are more icing on the cake.
We saw this demonstrated earlier in the week with Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney’s speech at the World Economic Forum.
It was a fabulous speech for many reasons, and what it was NOT was a performative one.
Carney stood a delivered with well practiced cadence, suitable pauses. There were some delightful language devices used in the actual script of the speech that helped his message land.
And other than that, it was delivered in a very non-performative way.
It was the substance underneath it that gave it gravitas. It was Carney’s clarity, conviction and confidence that elevated it.
And, if you’re not so sure about this … find the footage of his interview with the moderator immediately after his prepared speech. Even when he needed to collect his thoughts, even when he needed to respond without accepting the premise of the question, he was able to respond with clarity and conviction of message, and lived experience confidence.
Rambling only undermines our message when we’re rambling to find our message.
A lack of conciseness is only a problem if our listener can’t follow what we’re saying.
Filler words are perfectly normal parts of human expression and conversation, particularly when you’re collecting your thoughts when being asked a question.
When you look to clarify your message, deepen your conviction and ground yourself in authentic confidence, your speaking effectiveness, your presence, and your impact, will improve dramatically.
FREE 7-Day Speaking with Impact Practice Series
Starting Tuesday 27 January, I’m hosting a 7-day practice series to work on just these three things … clarity, conviction and confidence.
Each day you’ll receive a short video lesson from me with a ‘practice’ that you can complete that day to build your impact foundations.
There’s also 2 group coaching calls where you can get all your questions answered, and work on particular scenarios (like how to influence over time, how to change minds of people who just don’t see what you do, how to maintain confidence when you’re doubting yourself … whatever comes up).
It’s completely free and is a delightfully safe and low-key way to boost your communication skills.
🎧Podcast: Being Heard, Remembered & Taken Seriously
This week on the podcast I talk about the real desire behind wanting to stop rambling, losing your words, being more concise.
The desire to make an impact. To be heard, to be seen, to contribute your ideas and expertise.
It’s easy to think that in order to be heard we need to ‘speak up’, or ‘speak louder’; be more emphatic or be bolder.
But none of that feels comfortable, or authentic if you’re humble, quiet and a natural collaborator.
Listen to hear:
Why being assertive is NOT the answer to being heard, and
Why I think ‘assertiveness’ training is the WRONG thing for most of us
How speaking with impact is more about understanding your audience than it is about speaking louder
How you can influence decisions without dominating the conversation
How you can learn how to speak with greater impact and confidence
You can listen to Speaking with Confidence with Cat Matson on your favourite podcast player … on Spotify, Apple, YouTube or right here on substack :)
I hope I’ll see you in the 7-day Speaking with Impact Practice Series, and, if not, see you next week.
Here’s to confidence, and here’s to impact,
Cat
If this post sparked an idea for you, or you disagree, please comment and let’s chat. Community is built in conversations!